After getting several requests for an “About the Author" section, I decided to tack it on here at the end. Readers who stick with this to the end
deserve to have their questions answered!
Although this section is supposed to be “About the Author", I would like to share a bit about “About The Writing of Into My Life" also. First, I
want to take a minute to thank the three people responsible for this making its way onto the Internet. I shared the story with them via e-mail and
their response and encouragement were simply amazing to me. Dennis, my first reader, (and I'll never know how I ended up sharing it with a man!)
provided not only encouragement but a fascinating male perspective on the personality of Tess. Until hearing from him that he liked Tess, I had
thought of her more as a necessary plot device than a character! Susan's enthusiastic responses assured me that with a good supply of elastic for their “disbelief suspenders" even a John-fan would not be disappointed by the plot. Her questioning of events and characterizations helped me see
where I needed to patch up holes in the plot and shore up motivations. And as a fellow, “girl of the sixties" she confirmed my memories of the morality
of the times. Teresa was my last private reader and showed me that Paul fans could survive the infamous Chapter 12 and hang in there to see him
vindicated. She also helped identify plot weaknesses as well as anachronisms, inaccuracies, and plain old grammatical and typing errors. (I hasten to
add that her proofreading was much more thorough than what you see here—I know I missed many, many of the corrections she suggested. When I sit
down to do corrections, I am too easily sidetracked into little plot revisions!) Teresa even suggested some neat details such as the hint of lavender
in Paul's soap that I loved and unabashedly inserted into my story. (Thank you, Teresa!)
By telling me over and over that the story was good “in its own write" and not just because it was about the Beatles, each of these readers gave
me the confidence to share it with all of you. In addition to their encouragement and help, they provided months of entertaining correspondence, a lot
of laughs, a lot of memories. I hope I have told them individually how much that meant to me and if I haven't, let me just say it was appreciated more
than I can say.
One of the most common questions I get is “How long did it take to write the story? " I started putting the story on paper in early 1994—the
"Short, sexy parody" for my sisters. It has been “finished" two or three times since then and I would set it aside for six months or so, but when I
pulled it up and re-read it, I always saw lots of room for improvement and had unfinished business to add. In fact, I added the whole second half
after I retired from nursing in 1996. There just seemed to be more to Tess's story that needed to be told! Getting back together with Paul just seemed
to open a whole other world of questions. I found myself wondering how Tess's parents would react, whether Paul would remain faithful, how the fans
would react to Tess, how she would cope with them and reporters, if she could tolerate the lack of privacy, whether she could finish school, and
whether her relationship with Paul could survive months apart. Meeting and falling in love with a Beatle seemed easy when compared to the consequences
of trying to have an ongoing relationship with one!
I began sharing the story with my Internet friends later in 1996. After a lot of revisions, I guess it was basically finished by midsummer of '97
because that is when I put it on the Internet and it has changed only slightly since then. But I continue to go back now and then and refine a small
part or add a little more. It isn't a book, it is a hobby!
The most common question readers have about me seems to be “Are you Tess?" The answer to that is “sort of". Tess is certainly based on me but more
in her background and beliefs than her character. She is more-self assured, goal oriented, ambitious, intelligent, perceptive, and definitely better
looking than I was at that age. Tess is the me I would like to be if I could go back and do it all over again knowing what I know now!
Unlike Tess, I didn't go to nursing school until I was married and had two children and I never lived in an apartment in Minneapolis. My best
friend had an apartment in the small town where we lived and I spent a lot of time there. The apartment I gave Tess, Sandy, and Brenda is that
apartment—odd sized rooms, bath off the kitchen, furnishings and all! Sandy and Brenda are completely fictional—just about the only two people in
the book who are! They were fun to create from scratch. But Tess's family is my family right down to the family dog. When I wrote this, I was writing
it for my sisters so keeping that accurate was important in making it fun for them. I exaggerated some aspects of their personalities and adjusted
everyone's ages a little. (I was only 18 in '66 but wanted Tess nearly through school and old enough to be a better match for Paul.) I have since
considered changing Tess's family a bit, but the story works fine as is so, aside from changing the names, my family doesn't get much disguise!
I didn't try to write Tess as “every girl" but just as a ‘60s girl from a small midwestern town. That is all I knew to write about. It amazes me
that anyone younger than me can relate to her. Morality and society changed so drastically between the ‘60s when I was a teenager and the ‘70s that
even my younger sisters had very different expectations and experiences than I did. For a ‘90s girl to not only accept Tess as anything but a
hopelessly naive nerd tells me that perhaps times haven't changed as much as we think.
And that brings us to another issue in the writing of “Into My Life": The graphic sex. I get an occasional comment from a reader (usually someone
quite young) that it was too graphic, but the vast majority of readers love every steamy moment and clamor for more. As I explained, the story started
out as a joke, a romance novel parody story for my sisters. When I decided to go ahead with it as a story rather than a parody, I decided to leave the
sexual content explicit. I don't know how it is for young women today but suspect it hasn't changed all that much: Falling in love was for me as much
a a sexual experience as an emotional one. I wanted the story to be realistic and to me that meant describing Tess's sexual experiences with the same
detail as her other activities and feelings – maybe more because sex was as new and fascinating to her as it is to all of us when we first discover
it.
As I worked on the story, I also made a very conscious effort to avoid the flowery language and euphemisims of the romance novelist. The one thing
I wanted to achieve with the story was a feeling of realism (pretty weird for a Beatle Fanfiction fantasy, right?) I see nothing realistic in phrases
like “his throbbing man-root plunged into her womanhood." I have always found that kind of writing to be just plain annoying in its evasive silliness.
No one, especially not a 20-year old girl, thinks in those terms. I wanted to describe sex as Tess would, using the words she would use. I suspect
that is what makes it seem more graphic than the typical romance novel. Tess doesn't do any more, she just describes it correctly! I suppose I could
have written it with much less sexual detail, but I think that a lot of what you learn about the person you love, you learn during the intimate
moments.
The other point I want to make is that “Into My Life" was NOT written with young readers in mind. It was written for other 40+ women like me who
want to re-live the experience of falling in love for the first time as well as Beatlemania. (For women who loved the line on
“Grace Under Fire":
"Sometimes I have an urge to put the pillow over my husband's face and smother him—anything just to hear him call out my name with passion!") I have
yet to get a complaint from that age group about the sexual content. Most of them want more! I suspect it would be different if they realized
their daughters were reading it!
I knew when I put it on the Internet that younger fans would have access to it (though I have been amazed at the number of very young fans there
are!). I rated it with Safesurf so that parental control software would block it if parents made the effort to supervise what their kids do on the
Internet. I do not believe in Internet censorship. (Limiting it to make it acceptable to the very youngest users would leave us with only material
suitable for a 4-year-old!) I would not have wanted my daughters to read “Into My Life" at 13 but I do believe that it presents a much healthier and
realistic, and responsible view of sex than today's movies and TV. “Into My Life" certainly wouldn't be the worst way to learn about sex.
Now then, about the author ... I am married, 66 years old, mother of two grown daughters, grandmother of three, retired from nursing, live in
the midwest, never met Paul or any of the Beatles, never got to see them in concert as a group nor as solo's. John was my favorite at first but
somehow Paul caught up by the mid '60s and took over the lead when John got so weird in the late '60s. I think I have let Tess describe my feelings
about the two of them. I love them both and refuse to play that stupid game of “who was better" musically or any other way just as I reject any
suggestion that the Beatles could have done what they did, been what they were to millions of us, without George and Ringo. Given a chance to meet any
of them, I would probably opt for Ringo! John would have scared me half to death, Paul would leave me a melting puddle of fan idiocy, and I would not
inflict myself on George because I am first and foremost a Beatles fan and I admire and respect his “I was a Beatle but am not anymore" stance. Ringo
seems warm, open, honest and has a real sense of humor about all this nonsense.
To answer another commonly asked question, this is my first attempt at writing and it was certainly never intended for publication—purely a self
indulgent game and much needed reality escape hatch! That brings us to the “About the Author" stuff I have debated a long time about sharing. It is no
secret – any Internet search of my screen name will lead you to the information about me. I only hesitate to share it here because it comes out
sounding rather melodramatic. “Dying woman writes spellbinding romance novel." Well, as it turns out, I ain't dead quite yet, but being diagnosed with
a progressively paralyzing and terminal illness played such a big part in why I wrote the story that it only seems logical to share that information
in any discussion of the book.
In 1985 I was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). By 1994 it was clear that it was progressing exceptionally slowly. Even so, I was losing
my ability to enjoy all my old hobbies – sewing, cake decorating, bike riding. Writing the story filled my idle hours with a creative and enjoyable
outlet. Although I was still working when I started writing it, it would have never made it past the short story stage if circumstances hadn't made
writing one of the few leisure time activities I could enjoy. And enjoy it I did! Besides being a “handicapped accessible" pastime, it also helped me
cope with the emotional stress of dealing with the illness. When I couldn't sleep at night for worrying about the future, crying over the newest
evidence that I was getting weaker, worrying about decisions that would have to be made about whether to use a ventilator when I reach that point,
worrying about how my husband and children were dealing with my illness and inevitable death, it was much easier to just
“change the channel" and turn
my thoughts to developing the story. It was a lot more fun to stand in the moonlight with Paul than to deal with reality! Maybe that would be seen by
some as unhealthy avoidance, but it allowed me a much needed escape, helped me sleep at night, and made me stronger and better able to cope in the
long run. Today I am on a ventilator and have just enough hand strength to use a computer with adaptive software. Happy? Very much so!
That brings me to the most frequently asked question of all: Is there going to be a sequel??
The answer is no, for a number of reasons. As I mentioned above, the whole second half of the story is actually the sequel. (It originally ended
with Paul and Tess's reunion at Christmas time.) Although I often contemplate moving the story further on in time, that seems like a daunting task.
Besides the obvious reason that most sequels stink, I have other concerns about trying to write one. First, the obvious problem: Nothing is as much
fun as falling in love! It is really hard for any sequel to compete with that! Second, it would be harder to work with the events of the later '60s.
Beatle life got much more complicated then. It was easy to just yank Paul out of 1966/67, bring him to the States and “have my way with him." ;-) A
sequel would have to take place in his world. Writing about their life together in London would require some real research into the reality of
everyday British life as well as events and places in the lives of the Beatles in the later '60s. Writing about the Maharishi, the drugs, the break-up
just seems incredibly difficult.
And lastly—and probably a very weird reason but one I can't get past—I just feel that writing about those later years is somehow more
intrusive. A fanfic about meeting and falling in love with a Beatle was bad enough. I felt I was taking huge liberties in putting words into Paul's
mouth about his relationship and breakup with Jane but that was unavoidable in my story unless I completely erased her existence. (That would have
meant a major alteration of reality. Leaving Jane in with only the time frame changed also provided the perfect set-up for how Paul reacted to Tess
and the concerns she had about him.) Forging ahead into the next few years would mean either completely veering away from actual events or getting
into the sensitive issues of Brian's death, drug use, Yoko, the breakup, etc. I just wouldn't feel comfortable putting words into their mouths about
all of that. Weird, huh?
Besides, I have run out of ways to describe Paul and Tess having sex! ;-) ;-) ;-)
Although I suppose I will always find things to tinker with, the book is finished though. No more chapters to add. Not that I don't sometimes
wonder what happens next. I find myself looking ahead, wondering how Tess adjusts to life in England, how she manages to hold down a job and still go
off with Paul to make MMT and off to India, and so on. (I've thought perhaps Paul could buy her a facility of her own, perhaps a small nursing home or
hospice—in memory of his mother! She could hire others to run the place and come in and work when she wanted.) How do the fans treat her? Is she the
first Beatle wife to be despised? How would that affect their marriage? How soon do they start a family? What if she has trouble getting pregnant?
What about Yoko? What is Tess's reaction to and relationship with this love of John's life? What about drugs? Does she ever break down and indulge
just to see what it is Paul finds so wonderful? Does she sign the petition to legalize marijuana that the others signed? Maybe she opens a drug
treatment center rather than a hospice! Maybe John turns to her when he wants to get off drugs—I can see a wonderful scene where she and Paul hide
him away in Scotland and detox him. They would all be emotionally drained. Paul would tend the baby while Tess dealt with John. I imagine Tess waking
up from an exhausted rest to find Paul holding John and crying while John has the dry heaves and horrible stomach cramps and begs Paul to get him some
heroin.
Then there is the breakup of the Beatles. What role would Tess play—or be accused of playing—in that? Could she make it less painful? And
would John, during those horrible years after the break up, write a song like “How Do You Sleep" that either alludes to or flat out tells the world
that he and Tess had an affair??? How would Tess and Paul deal with that? Add that to the stress Paul was going through over the end of the Beatles,
and you have a marriage in big trouble.
And the BIG QUESTION. What about Dec. 9, 1980? Would that have to happen? I envision an ending where, after all the hell of the breakup, the
public fighting, the lawsuits, and after Paul pulls himself together and starts again with Wings, and after he and John finally begin the process of
putting the recent past behind them and establishing a friendship again, and after John gets his U.S. citizenship, John makes a trip back to England.
He spends time with Mimi, then visits Paul and Tess and their little tribe at their home outside of London. Old wounds are finally healed and they
have a warm and wonderful visit with John, Yoko, and Sean. The only disturbing event during that visit is when word arrives from New York that a
deranged fan has shot and killed himself on the sidewalk outside of the Dakota.
